In God we trust
by quieten
Summary: Arizona's thoughts and experiences during 7x18: Song Beneath the Song.


**A/N:** This is my attempt at getting back into writing, and also my first attempt at GA fic. Please let me know your opinions, any constructive criticism is gratefully received :)

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><p>"I asked her to marry me and a truck came out of nowhere," Arizona whispered as the elevator doors closed, separating her from Callie. The surgical floor was uncharacteristically devoid of white coats, most of the doctors having accompanied Callie's gurney to the OR in a whirlwind of shouted vital statistics. The metal doors swam in her vision as tears rolled silently down her cheeks.<p>

They were meant to be halfway there now, far from this hospital with its whitewashed walls and whirring machines. The very people she'd been so keen to spend a weekend away from were now rushing the love of her life into emergency surgery, and… and it was all her fault, thought Arizona. She slid down the wall, landing in a crumpled mess on the floor. "It's all my fault…"

x

"Hey, how's Callie doing? Teddy's sent me off to 'study,' which basically means 'get lost,'" Cristina sprang up from her swivel chair, rolling her eyes, and stopped Meredith as she hurried down the corridor.

"Not great. Neither's the baby - they're flying Addison in ASAP. Walk with?" she replied, brandishing a phial she was delivering to the lab.

Cristina's eyes widened. "Crap. Must be bad if Montgomery's coming." She thought for a moment as they rounded the corner. "Hey, Mer…"

"I know," Meredith smiled, tired eyes twinkling momentarily. "Me too. Don't die, Cristina Yang."

"Oh, me? I'm invincible. It's you I worry about, Miss Dark-and-Twisty," she quipped. "Has anyone spoken to Robbins?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen her since they brought Callie in… Mark was pretty hard on her," Meredith frowned. "Hey, maybe we should -" She stopped short as they saw Arizona ahead of them, still slumped opposite the elevator. "Oh, God," Meredith breathed, "she's a mess." Looking from Arizona to the phial in her hand, she appealed to Cristina. "Derek wants these stat… we can't leave her."

"I got this. You carry on." Cristina approached the attending. "Robbins…"

Arizona looked up. Cristina took in her dishevelled appearance: the dress she'd left the hospital in just a few hours ago - almost a lifetime, thought Cristina - was creased and stained with Callie's blood, mascara smeared over her chalk-white face. Most shocking was the 4-inch gash across her forehead, still oozing crimson. "H-how is she?" she managed in a voice hoarse from crying.

"In surgery. Come on," Cristina replied, offering a hand.

_But it's my fault_, thought Arizona, fresh tears springing to her eyes as she let herself be pulled upwards.

x

"Hey, Robbins," Alex entered the observation balcony, greeting his favourite attending with a reassuring smile. "What do you need? I could stitch up that nasty cut you got going on there."

"It's okay. I'm… I'm fine." Arizona dissolved into tears., shoulders shaking violently. Alex put his arm round her.

"She'll be okay. Callie's tough, and Addison's the best. She'll pull through."

Wide-eyed, Arizona looked up at him, bottom lip trembling. "It… it was my fault. I took my eyes off of the road, and… and now they're hurt. I broke them." _I love you more than anything and I want more. I want commitments, I want rings. So.. marry me_. "If I'd just waited, if I'd been looking, if I'd…"

Alex sighed. "No. Look. Crap happens. People get cancer and die in your arms, people get hit by buses. Trucks come out of nowhere. It's not your fault. You've just gotta... You just have to believe in her. Have faith, y'know," he shrugged.

_Have faith, Robbins, _Chief Weber had yelled as they rushed Callie off. _Have faith. _What did that even mean, she wondered. Faith in what? The higher being who'd done such an excellent job of protecting her loved ones so far?

"I… I phoned Carlos. In the ambulance. He was upset, but he said… in God we trust. And faith, it's this huge deal to Callie, and to her family, and to everyone except me. What if I have no faith left, Karev?"

Alex shrugged again. "You believe in Torres, right?" He waited until she nodded before continuing. "You believe in her. You believe_ for_ her. And you stick around, because she'll need you when she makes it through."

x

Arizona lay curled up on a pew, eyes tracing the patterns in the wood of the pew in front. The dark blue of the attending scrubs April had fetched for her rendered her almost invisible to anyone peering through the doorway of the hospital chapel. She had no idea how long she'd been there for, but she had no desire to move for fear of yet another heated argument with Mark. It was silent, empty. She was alone with her thoughts.

The sound of heels on the hard tiled floor made her jump. "Arizona?" a familiar voice asked tentatively.

Her heartbeat began to race immediately as she sat bolt upright, reaching for the Heelies beside the bench.

"Is - is she okay? What happened? Is it the baby?"

Addison looked momentarily confused. "What - oh! No - no. She's fine. They're fine. For the moment, anyway," she explained. "Dr Altman said I'd probably find you here."

Her panic subsiding, Arizona slumped back onto the hard wooden bench. "Thank God. I thought…"

Addison removed her stilettos and curled up on the pew before Arizona, unable to suppress a smile as she took in the blonde's hot-pink toenails. Although they'd spoken fairly often on the phone - Addison had a knack for ringing when Callie was on call - they'd never met, and she was amused by the accuracy of Mark's description ("Hot. But in this, gay, I-work-with-kids-but-I-could-still-kick-your-ass, pink and fluffy kinda way").

"We were sat here when Callie first told me about you," she remarked, removing her heels and straightening out her legs on the pew.

Arizona propped herself up on one elbow. "I can't lose her. We've… I've… I've lost her before and I can't do it again. I can't lose either of them."

"Well, chances are it won't come to that. She's a fighter. And she loves all of you too much to let go."

"I came here to pray. I thought it'd be easier in a church than in the gallery, but it isn't. I still don't know what to say. I still don't believe anyone's listening." Arizona thought of her own childhood Bible, locked away in a drawer at her parents' home. "I haven't touched a Bible since… since my brother died. If God wasn't listening to me then… why would he now?"

Addison bit her lip in thought. "I don't know. I'm not counting on God for my miracles. I haven't picked up a Bible since I graduated high school. But anyone can see you two were made for each other. Maybe that's enough." She shrugged.

x

Arizona had fallen into a troubled half-sleep, head resting on her right arm, her left hand clutching Callie's right. A gentle pressure on her hand pulled her back to consciousness. She heard a grunt. Looking at Callie, she noticed her eyes were open. Oh my God, Arizona thought. Oh my God. "Callie… Callie?"

"Yes. Yes, I'll marry you," Callie managed, smiling triumphantly through her obvious exhaustion. Taken aback, Arizona burst into delighted laughter.

"Oh my God, you're alive!" was all she could think to say.

"Yeah," Callie breathed. "I'm hard to get rid of that way." She tried for a cheeky grin but grimaced in pain. Arizona stroked her cheek.

"No, don't. Don't speak. I love you baby, and you'll look awesome in a wedding dress - awesome," she teased, "but first you really need to rest."

Callie tried to protest, but recognised the determination in the set of her fiancee's jaw and gave in. "Mmmkay," she mumbled, "I love you, too. C'mere."

Arizona climbed up onto the bed beside her, gingerly wrapping one arm around Callie's waist. _Thank you, God, she thought._


End file.
